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23.4.12

My wifey.
I've got no idea when you will see this.
Its been practically 2 years since we last posted at this blog.
Its saves our memories - from today onwards i wouldn't let it die out again.
I spend a night reading the entire blog, and teared.
How did this love, so pure and innocent, turned out this way?
I always wondered, many times, it was seriously my fault.
I was the one who didn't tried all my best to cherish and fulfill whatever you desired.
I was not caring enough, being sensitive to your needs and fulfilling whatever you wanted so badly.
I didn't give you enough attention, so you went on ahead, leaving me behind.
Everything that happened, had a reason, and the reason, was me.
I allowed you to do it, don't ever feel guilty.
I promised you we have a future together, I promised and will keep.
I have been always, missing you.
Every minutes, every seconds.
There is just, not enough time.
Just, not enough time...
I wanted you so badly, i sometimes hate myself.
I tried everything to satisfy you, but I do not know how much more i can do.
I couldn't even match up to those letters.
I promised you i will write letters to you, but I'm not sure whether if i really have the time.
I really treasured you.
I hope for the time being, this is what that i can do, to fulfill the promise.
I once told you before, in whatever you do, dun be afraid.
Whatever you think you will be happy with, go ahead - you have my utmost support.
I'm not sure how I'm going to put it, but, i regretted badly.
How i wished, i still have you.
And everything that happened, was a bad dream.
I want to wake up, like TaeYang in "Look only at me", seeing you are still with me.
No matter how much i do, I couldn't do it well.
I really tried my best.
My mother tell me must be kind, to whoever i met.
At least now, 1 thing i can be certain of, is that no matter what happens in the future, i know you will always come back.
My instincts tells me to wait for you, even if i may die of hurt.
Dun ask me why, cuz i can only tell you for certain, i followed my gut feel.
My baby, you will always be my baby, no matter what you become.
Hehe... I hope i still can match up to the wesley lo.
I really didn't expect an ordinary guy like him, can win me.
It hurts.
Badly.
I love you.
I will always stay by your side whenever you need me.
I hated the feeling, of being like Jon, waited and waited for you to find out you're walking with another.
I am afraid.
I hated the feeling, of being like Nicholas, texting you lovey dovey messages while you are with another.
I am me.
I hope I have the strength to remain as me.
I always trusted my principles - you treat someone good, they will treat you back good too.
So, my attitude towards others is also this way.
However, to you, my attitude = i treat you good, i pray you will to me, someday, return.
Investments ma, Hehe!
I hope my instincts guide me correctly, still making the choice is it part of me.
I always wanted you to be mine.
I miss you badly.
Maybe i wun tell you about this post first, hehe.
Letting you figure out by yourself, will be more romantic.
Use your instincts.
Hehe, I give you a clue soon - i did your letters (though not on paper).
Dun tell me you not worth it, cuz to me, you are always perfect - forever, no, for eternity, worth it.
Hahas.
Even now, i dk why am i, tearing, while typing - hope my keyboard dun spoil >.<
Even all these words, still can't describe, how much i want you back.
You have to know, no matter what happens, you WILL still come back. Hehe.
Baby, I love you, as always, i do.
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.
<3
 I'm dying to hear your voice just for a min more, just like how much vampires thirst for blood, yet you're aslp.
I know I cant blame you cos you're sick, you ought to rest more like I alws wanted you to do.
I guess the best remedy to heal mi from dhis state right now is... you.
My heart aches alot now. I need you, really, for this time around, n the first time I ever begged so loudly deep inside mi that I need you.
That voice is alluring, I cant get to slp.
Every breathe I take hurts now, it's like every strand of hair of mine is screaming for you.
It takes alot of courage to inhale, moreover, each deep breath i'm gasping for.
Only the dexterous you are able to calm mi down at this moment.
Tonight is extremely cold, freezing, I can only feel myself curling up into a ball, hugging my knees at my chest n feeling water droplets rolling down my cheeks like non-stop.
I looked up, it wasn't raining, just that the clouds above mi are gray.
I guess, today i needed you at the wrong time. i'm sorry.