Friday the 13th
13.8.10
Today was terrible.
Yeah, I'm feeling damn horrible now.
Time spent w you today was simply not enough.
You were sick, Idk how to help.
I'm freaking useless.
I am stupid ( I know )
My bad points are more than my good points(do i even have any good points? -.-)
I suck, in studies.
I strained r/s w you n your parents
I am Teo Xinyu, I dont communicate well w my parents.
Probably, I lost someone who understood mi dhe most dhat time, now Idk wad I'm left w.
I look around, I'm lagging behind, as compared to the society.
Wad am I left w ? You.
I've practically nth.
If you leaves mi alone as well, I'm done, I'm gone.
I wondered if I scared you today
Or made you worried too much, that you may stop loving mi.
That srsly fuck it man, I would rather die.
At least die, I wouldnt be a burden anymore,
I wont be a form of stress to anyone esp. my parents.
At least die, I will not suffer anymore.
Everyone's gonna get over mi n move on, yeah they're all gonna get over mi sooner or later, matter of time.
If a scale is here to measure how much I love you, I'm afraid I'll have to exceed its limit.
It's too hard to let go of my last dependent person now, the pain gonna last mi for quite some time or rather a lifetime.
I rly hope that I'm not alone.
I'm dying to hear your voice just for a min more, just like how much vampires thirst for blood, yet you're aslp.
I know I cant blame you cos you're sick, you ought to rest more like I alws wanted you to do.
I guess the best remedy to heal mi from dhis state right now is... you.
My heart aches alot now. I need you, really, for this time around, n the first time I ever begged so loudly deep inside mi that I need you.
That voice is alluring, I cant get to slp.
Every breathe I take hurts now, it's like every strand of hair of mine is screaming for you.
It takes alot of courage to inhale, moreover, each deep breath i'm gasping for.
Only the dexterous you are able to calm mi down at this moment.
Tonight is extremely cold, freezing, I can only feel myself curling up into a ball, hugging my knees at my chest n feeling water droplets rolling down my cheeks like non-stop.
I looked up, it wasn't raining, just that the clouds above mi are gray.
I guess, today i needed you at the wrong time. i'm sorry.
i'm sorry for today, can you forgive mi Laogong?♥
T. XINYU